If you've read my post on solution focused on a clipboard, you know that I like to create tools that make my life easier. I also like things to look nice and be useful at the same time. To meet both needs, I created the Map It Out wall for your school counseling office. To explore, I am going to walk through the process with a real student we'll call Corey.
My Achievement Plan
Corey was a fourth grader when I began this work with him. He was a really tough kid who struggled both with his behavior and with understanding empathy. He often hurt others and seemed not to care. When reading stories about sad things, he couldn't understand why the character would act against their own best interest. I had known Corey since he was a Kindergartener and we had worked closely together all those years. However, to be honest, Corey really wasn't doing well. It seemed like all the other things I tried had failed - behavior contracts, solution focused, understanding feelings, work with his family, and many more ideas. I hadn't tried the Achievement Plan because I didn't think he cared enough to work on his behavior. In fact, I think this is why solution focused wasn't very effective for him, I couldn't get the hook he needed in order to try.
The Five Wants
The MAP It Out plan is based on the work of William Glasser. In this theory, humans have 5 wants:
o Survival – basic needs & safety
o Belonging – fitting in, having a tribe, connecting
o Power – significance, competence, ability to achieve your goals
o Freedom – free choice, to do what we want
o Fun – FUN
I thought I knew Corey so well. I just knew he would say Power. He was a "power and control" kind of kid, or so I thought. To my utmost surprise, he chose Belonging. I was shocked! I never thought he cared enough about others to want to be connected to them. Clearly, I had already made a huge breakthrough. Now I had the hook I needed to encourage Corey to work towards change.
o Survival – basic needs & safety
o Belonging – fitting in, having a tribe, connecting
o Power – significance, competence, ability to achieve your goals
o Freedom – free choice, to do what we want
o Fun – FUN
I thought I knew Corey so well. I just knew he would say Power. He was a "power and control" kind of kid, or so I thought. To my utmost surprise, he chose Belonging. I was shocked! I never thought he cared enough about others to want to be connected to them. Clearly, I had already made a huge breakthrough. Now I had the hook I needed to encourage Corey to work towards change.
What's Happening Now
Once Corey had a reason to try to change, we could have a really honest conversation about the choices he was making now. Without commentary, I wrote what he said (he didn't want to do the writing) on a post it and divided them between "It's Working" and "It's Not Working." This can be a challenging concept to think about. If I want to belong and I tease others because I think it's funny - is it working? It's might be working in amusing me but not in helping me to belong. This part of the process is important and should not be rushed.
How Hard Are You Willing to Work?
As we all know, wanting an outcome and working for an outcome are not the same thing. It was important to assess how hard Corey was willing to work. If he's not willing to do "Whatever It Takes," it might be hard to see change. Conversely, if he says he's willing to work hard but doesn't, he's accountable to himself and his actions. I used this part of the tool to explore his feelings about the process of change. Change is hard and the effort check is a great way to get a feel for where your student is.
What's The Plan
Working together, Corey and I created a SMART Goal and Plan for his behavior. He was able to identify exact things that he could do to work on belonging in his classroom. In his case, he chose to stop teasing others. He thought he was funny but no one else did. Not a great way to belong.
Putting It Together
Here's where I created a great tool that I wish I had with Corey! On this page, the student (or counselor) can write down what they talk about to keep track of their plans over time. It would work great to staple the planning pages in a folder each week. The stickies can be placed on the actual page when your conversation is done.
So what happened with Corey? He got better. It's been years since I've seen him last but I imagine that his work is not done. Without a doubt, his time at our school was better because of the work that we did. His behavior referrals went down, he was involved in fewer bullying incidents, and I really do think that he began to feel like he belonged.
What's your success story? How do you break through with students who are tough to reach? We can all expand our tools of the trade. You can get the entire bulletin board and planning page over on TPT.
So what happened with Corey? He got better. It's been years since I've seen him last but I imagine that his work is not done. Without a doubt, his time at our school was better because of the work that we did. His behavior referrals went down, he was involved in fewer bullying incidents, and I really do think that he began to feel like he belonged.
What's your success story? How do you break through with students who are tough to reach? We can all expand our tools of the trade. You can get the entire bulletin board and planning page over on TPT.
