How many emails do you have in your inbox? If your answer ends in "thousand," you might want to sit down because I'm going to tell you how many I have in mine: FIVE. You read that right, I have 5 emails in my inbox right now. In fact, I have a 10 emails or less rule in my inbox. So how (and WHY?!) do I do it?

Before we begin, I want to assuage your fears that I can't possibly get as many emails as you do each day. Perhaps not, but I do get over 100 emails some days and still follow this system.

The first step to email tranquility is to clear out enough that you have a manageable amount to sort. I've sat next to people in meetings and noticed that they have thousands of unread emails. How do they find anything?! If this describes you, sort your emails by date and delete anything over a year old.

​If you just can't click the trigger, your email may have an archive function, where the email is taken out of your inbox but is not deleted. If your email system does not have an archive function, you could create a folder for each school year to get those emails out of your inbox. 

You may decide that you still have too many emails to handle one by one. Do you have unread emails that are more than a week old? Delete them. Do you have spam emails from advertisers? Delete them. You can delete whole batches of emails by using the sort features within your inbox. 

Now that you've slimmed down your inbox, it's time to make some choices. I use 4 different actions for email management: 

• Delete It
• File It
• Save It
• Do It

These actions will apply to new emails when they come in, but, for now, we're trying to get your current inbox under control. Open up the oldest email in your now slimmer inbox and quickly decide on one of these four actions. Depending on the number of emails, you may need to set aside chunks of time to complete this task. I highly recommend the Pomodoro Technique for productive time management. 

Marketing, old memos, emails you were copied on for some unknown reason, notices about copiers that have long been fixed, we could go on and on with emails you don't need. Don't need it? Delete it?

But what if you might need it? File or archive it. If you use gmail or other more modern email systems, you can easily search for emails so archiving might be the best solution. In my district, we use a not-so-modern version of email where the search function is very difficult to use. I created folders for typical topics: 

• Staff Info: schedules, updates, links for PD, etc.
• Parent Communication: emails from parents or from teachers about parents 
• Intervention Team, Leadership, etc: folders for each team or committee that I am a part of
• Central Office: emails sent from central office that has information I may need again

​You create the folders that work for you!

Does the email have an attachment you will need in the future? Go ahead and save it so that you can delete the email. Hunting in your inbox is not an effective way to find documents, future you will thank you. 

If you have a not-so-modern email system (like me!), you may fill up your allotted data space. If this happens, you need to save old emails so that you can delete from your email server. My email system has a "Save as PDF" function and I will save that in my dropbox so that I can reference the information easily. Occasionally, I will save a PDF version of an email that includes information I know I will need frequently.

Many emails contain an action needed on your part. These are the only emails that stay in my inbox. In that way, my inbox is like a "to-do" list. In the 5 emails I have in my inbox right now I need to:

1. check access in a system my district uses
2. follow up with someone about scheduling PD
3. receive a reply from someone and don't want to forget about it
4. add information on a collaborative document
5. follow up about running a particular report on our information system

Five emails = 5 to do items. Once I complete the item, I either delete it, file it, or save it depending on whether I will need that information in the future. Some people use flags, stars, and other strategies to differentiate items in their inbox. This might help you as you are starting on the journey to 10 or less emails. Since I have so few emails in my inbox, I don't use this strategy often for myself.

You did it! You whittled your number of emails down to just your to-do list. Have more than 10? Get working on those to-do's! The next step is the most important, keep doing it! You must delete it, file it, save it, or do it every single day. When I have more than 10 emails in my inbox, I know I need to spend some time organizing my email so it doesn't get out of control. The best thing about this process is that it takes LESS time to manage your email and you are MORE on top of follow up, replies, and to-do list items. 

So fill us in - how many emails are in your inbox right now??? Can you get to 10 or less? I challenge you to change. 

If you've read my post on solution focused on a clipboard, you know that I like to create tools that make my life easier. I also like things to look nice and be useful at the same time. To meet both needs, I created the Map It Out wall for your school counseling office. To explore, I am going to walk through the process with a real student we'll call Corey. 

Corey was a fourth grader when I began this work with him. He was a really tough kid who struggled both with his behavior and with understanding empathy. He often hurt others and seemed not to care. When reading stories about sad things, he couldn't understand why the character would act against their own best interest. I had known Corey since he was a Kindergartener and we had worked closely together all those years. However, to be honest, Corey really wasn't doing well. It seemed like all the other things I tried had failed - behavior contracts, solution focused, understanding feelings, work with his family, and many more ideas. I hadn't tried the Achievement Plan because I didn't think he cared enough to work on his behavior. In fact, I think this is why solution focused wasn't very effective for him, I couldn't get the hook he needed in order to try. 

The MAP It Out plan is based on the work of William Glasser. In this theory, humans have 5 wants:
o Survival – basic needs & safety
o Belonging – fitting in, having a tribe, connecting
o Power – significance, competence, ability to achieve your goals
o Freedom – free choice, to do what we want
o Fun – FUN

I thought I knew Corey so well. I just knew he would say Power. He was a "power and control" kind of kid, or so I thought. To my utmost surprise, he chose Belonging. I was shocked! I never thought he cared enough about others to want to be connected to them. Clearly, I had already made a huge breakthrough. Now I had the hook I needed to encourage Corey to work towards change. 

Once Corey had a reason to try to change, we could have a really honest conversation about the choices he was making now. Without commentary, I wrote what he said (he didn't want to do the writing) on a post it and divided them between "It's Working" and "It's Not Working." This can be a challenging concept to think about. If I want to belong and I tease others because I think it's funny - is it working? It's might be working in amusing me but not in helping me to belong. This part of the process is important and should not be rushed. 

As we all know, wanting an outcome and working for an outcome are not the same thing. It was important to assess how hard Corey was willing to work. If he's not willing to do "Whatever It Takes," it might be hard to see change. Conversely, if he says he's willing to work hard but doesn't, he's accountable to himself and his actions. I used this part of the tool to explore his feelings about the process of change. Change is hard and the effort check is a great way to get a feel for where your student is.

Working together, Corey and I created a SMART Goal and Plan for his behavior. He was able to identify exact things that he could do to work on belonging in his classroom. In his case, he chose to stop teasing others. He thought he was funny but no one else did. Not a great way to belong.

Here's where I created a great tool that I wish I had with Corey! On this page, the student (or counselor) can write down what they talk about to keep track of their plans over time. It would work great to staple the planning pages in a folder each week. The stickies can be placed on the actual page when your conversation is done. 

So what happened with Corey? He got better. It's been years since I've seen him last but I imagine that his work is not done. Without a doubt, his time at our school was better because of the work that we did. His behavior referrals went down, he was involved in fewer bullying incidents, and I really do think that he began to feel like he belonged. 

What's your success story? How do you break through with students who are tough to reach? We can all expand our tools of the trade. You can get the entire bulletin board and planning page over on TPT. 

I am very excited to have another guest post to share with you today!   Kathy Slattengren is an internationally recognized, inspirational parent educator and founder of Priceless Parenting. Priceless Parenting offers online parenting classes, parenting presentations and parent coaching.  With Kathy's support, parents learn to effectively handle misbehavior while building loving relationships. Today she's here to share best practices in helping parents to manage screen time. 

Do you ever see kids at school who you suspect are spending many hours a day on digital devices?  Would you like to talk to their parents about setting some healthy limits but aren’t sure what to say?  You’re wise to be tentative in approaching any parent about their parenting! 

​Parents want to be seen as competent.  When you approach them to discuss setting healthy limits on their kids’ media usage, you can easily trigger feelings of inadequacy and being judged.  Before parents can hear your message, they need to feel that you are on their side - trying to help them, not make them feel bad about their parenting.  

When you lead with empathy, parents will feel that you understand them.  Showing empathy will come more naturally when you keep in mind what the parent may be thinking and feeling.  Things like:

• My kids love being on screens.  If I try to take the screens away they get upset.
• My kids learn a lot using digital media.
• They fight less with each other and behave better when they have screens. 
• My kids use digital devices at school so I know it’s good for them.
• I’m busy and overwhelmed a lot of the time.  When my kids are on their screens, I can get some things done. 

Try opening with a comment that connects to the parent’s challenge in putting limits around screens.

• “Your son really loves playing Minecraft. I bet it’s hard when he needs to turn it off.”
• “Your daughter is so talented at using the iPhone!  What is her favorite thing to do on it?”
• “Parenting is a non-stop job!  What do you usually do when your kids are busy on their iPads?

 
Ideally the parent will respond with more information about how their kids use their digital devices.  This will allow you to ask questions and learn more about this parent’s thoughts on their kids’ media usage. After you establish a rapport you’ll be in a better position to offer guidance.  

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommendations include avoiding television and other digital media for children younger than 2-years-old. This is primarily due to babies learning best through interacting with people.  It’s the back and forth communication that is essential for learning.
 
For older children, the AAP suggests limiting entertainment screen time -- including TV, video games and computer use -- to one to two hours a day.  Most kids far exceed these recommendations.  According to the AAP, “children are spending an average of seven hours a day on entertainment media, including televisions, computers, phones and other electronic devices”.

​While you cannot force parents to change their behavior, you can influence them by providing information.  Screens can be addicting for both kids and adults.  Some signs that it’s time to reduce the time kids are spending on media include:

• Spending less and less time with family and friends
• Difficulty focusing on the present moment due to craving video games or cellphones
• Withdrawing from sports, hobbies and social interactions
• Losing sleep due to gaming, texting
• Acting irritable or discontent when not using digital items
• Declining grades in school, missing school
• Talking and thinking obsessively about the digital activity
• Denying or minimizing any negative consequences
• Developing health issues such as Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, eye strain, weight gain, backaches

If parents respond that their kids will have a meltdown if they try to take away their screen time, you can agree that their children may get upset.  You can let them know that some parents seek help from a professional counselor or psychologist to help in setting limits.

​Providing some written information is a wonderful way to reinforce what you’ve discussed.  You are welcome to print out these flyers to give parents:  
​

• Healthy Use of Screens For Families
• Warning Signs of Too Much Screen Time for Kids
• Too Much Screen Time Hurts Babies

 
These flyers plus additional information is available on Priceless Parenting’s page for “Parenting Digital Kids”.

Researchers have found that children whose parents make an effort to limit media use spend less time with media than their peers.  Although children may resist efforts to reduce their screen time, the long term benefits are worth it!

Thanks Kathy! Don't forget to check out her website to find lots of free printables, resources, and ideas for working with parents. What's your screen time philosophy? In our household, we are a Saturday morning cartoon kind of family. Occasionally we will watch some TV during the week. If we need extra work time for mom and dad, we try to do iPad games instead of TV.

Like a lot of people I know, I have jumped on the mindfulness bandwagon. I have been surprised to see how much kids enjoy the concepts of mindfulness. I have taught classroom lessons on mindfulness and used the concepts on some of my groups but I really think that the best fit for mindfulness is in individual counseling. I thought it might be fun to create a list of mindfulness crafts for kids. 

I purchased the whale string craft in the cover photo from the one spot at Target (I think it was $3) as a craft with my own kiddo. As we were working on it, I was inspired to create a similar version for cheaper to use at school. You could even use pieces of styrofoam or a shoe box. Simply draw an outline of an object and have the student place pins along the outline. Then wrap string around in random order. It's strangely soothing, even for an adult.

We can't overlook the power of coloring - it's all the rage for a reason! I love to color while talking with students. You can take it a step further and teach the idea of concentrating on what you're doing and coloring with mindfulness. I can imagine a whole group of students who are working on anxiety coloring peacefully with soft music in the background. Bonus points for beanbags and other comfy chairs.

Counselors often use play doh as a tool for communication but it's also great for mindfulness. Play doh has great textures, smells, colors, and movement to focus students' attention while practicing mindfulness. 

OK, I've never tried this one but I've heard that  it's great for kids. Arm knitting uses yarn and your arms to create chunky knits that are great for scarves. This is a great tutorial for beginners. 

• ​Encourage students to think about textures, smells, and colors.
• Practice breathing in and out with each movement. 
• Teach students how focusing on a new skill can help to "turn off" anxious overthinking.
• Help students to do a body scan before and after their mindful crafting. How are they feeling? How do they feel different?
• Role play approaching the craft with curiosity. Students may need support in thinking about what this means.
• When mistakes happen, practice a mantra. It's helpful to create the mantra before you begin. Some examples: 
  • Mistakes Happen
  • That's OK, now my craft looks unique
  • I can keep going even when I make a mistake

What do you think? Ready for some mindful crafting in your individual sessions? What a wonderful skill for students to learn that will add to their toolbox of anti-stress strategies!