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When Online Drama Comes to School

2/13/2017

 
Online Drama - how to talk to your students about digital citizenship. Stop cyber bullying before it happens. www.counselorup.com
I am thrilled to host Keith Deltano from Don't Bully Online for a guest post on cyber bullying today. A serious comedian, Keith is a winner of the teaching excellence award for his work with at risk students and the national impact award for his parent outreach and education efforts. He is the creator of the anti bullying curriculum, “The Complete Anti Bullying Kit.” Keith has served and worked with youth as a public school teacher, private counselor, strength coach, and US Army Airborne Military Police Officer. We are also hosting a GIVEAWAY, details at the end of the post.

The calls have come in, accusations made, screenshots presented, and now you have students in your counseling office that do not fully understand the potential consequences of social media abuse and cyber bullying.  What do you say them?

​Misuse of You Tube, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Tumblr, and Flickr by teens has resulted in long term suspension, expulsion, suicide, and criminal charges…and that’s the short list.  As a school counselor, one of your jobs is to help your students make good decisions regarding social media.  This abuse is not limited to teens. As a nationally touring anti bullying speaker, I have met elementary school principals that have had to suspend students for making racist, hateful, and threatening comments on social media sites.

It's the Law

​All 50 states have passed HIB (Harassment Intimidation and Bullying) laws and school systems are struggling to comply.  The aggressiveness of these laws varies from state to state.  In many states, school administrators are required to contact law enforcement when racist, threatening, or pornographic imagery is included in a student’s post.  I’ve met students that have lost full boat scholarships because something they posted on Instagram resulted in criminal charges.  Once again, this is not limited to middle and high school students.  I’ve met parents at my workshops that have elementary school students involved with criminal HIB investigations.
Students and parents have all heard of cyber bullying, the suicides that have occurred because of it, and the dangers of social media abuse.  What I have learned in my travels is that very few students and parents have made a concrete connection between all the media coverage of cyber bullying and their own personal behavior.  Students may have a vague idea that cyber bullying is wrong, few understand they may pay a heavy price for engaging in it.  In other words, they may expect a lecture and even suspension, but few seem to understand expulsion and a criminal record can be around the bend. We in education have spent a great deal of time speaking with each other about social media, not so much with students.  This has to change.

​Permanent, Prosecutable, and Painful

I focus on defining and retaining three words students can relate to social media and cyber bullying: permanent, prosecutable, and painful. These three concepts can be applied in a one on one conversation in your office or a school wide activity. To maintain consistency, include the words in every assembly, discussion, poster contest, presentation, parent conference, PTA meeting, anti bullying pledge, student handbook, or school website article you create that addresses cyber bullying and social media.  Either way, we want to make sure students understand social media abuse is permanent, prosecutable, and painful. 
​
As I’m sure you are aware, students will not retain all of what you say to them, they are, however, able to retain key concepts when they are consistently connected to memorable keywords or phrases. Think: “stop, drop, and roll.” Let’s take a look at permanent, prosecutable, and painful to see how you could include them in your anti cyber bullying efforts.  Your presentation and materials could include these points:
Online Drama - how to talk to your students about digital citizenship. Stop cyber bullying before it happens.

Permanent

What you send out there is permanent, you cannot get it back, and it will be out there forever.  For example, if you post an inappropriate image of yourself out there on Instagram, you will have to deal with the image’s existence for the rest of your life.  If you make an inappropriate comment and post it on social media, you will have to deal with the consequences for a long time.  You cannot control the life of a post, tweet, image, text, or email. Businesses and colleges conduct background checks on applicants.  They will check out who you are online.  You may not be able to get into college because of something you posted to social media years earlier.
​

Prosecutable

Inappropriate social media behavior is prosecutable by law enforcement agencies. Not only can you be suspended from school, you can be charged with a crime.  If prosecuted for cyber bullying, you will be charged with a misdemeanor that will be on your juvenile record until you are eighteen.  As mentioned before, employers and colleges conduct background checks on their applicants.  You may be unable to get a job because of something you posted on Snapchat.  You may be unable to get a college scholarship because you tweeted a racial or threatening comment.  If you are prosecuted for online harassment or cyber bullying, the record of that prosecution will stay with you and limit your options until you are eighteen.  If what you do with social media is serious enough to result in a felony charge, it may stay on your record for the rest of your life. Your future could be radically changed by one text, tweet, or post.
​

Painful

You can cause a lot of pain with one hateful post.  Do you want to be responsible for hurting another person?  Do you want to be responsible for another human being harming themselves in any way as a result of something you posted?  You have no way of knowing the emotional state of the person you are victimizing. Your social media actions may have consequences that cannot be reversed. The anger you feel when you post something hateful may not last, the harm you cause may be permanent.

Sending the Message

As a school counselor, you already have lessons and activities that address cyber bullying and social media safety.  Simply work permanent, prosecutable, and painful into them. Most of the materials I’ve reviewed on cyber bullying are “light” and they simply do not bring home the severity of the consequences or the damage that can be done when social media is abused.  Use these three words to make your anti cyber bullying efforts more impactful, especially with older students. Work to get the whole staff on board with this language.

​You can reduce cyber bullying and online drama at your school.  It will take a very focused and targeted effort using specific language.  If the students hear it enough, in the same language, with the same consequences, by all their leadership, the message will get through.


Thanks so much for posting with us Keith! I think the message you drive home is really powerful. We can't just tell students that cyberbullying is inappropriate, we have to help them to learn the consequences for themselves and others. Keith has generously offered to give away TWO Anti-Bullying Resource Kits away. To enter, comment below with how your school addresses cyberbullying. Winners will be announced here on Monday, February 20th.

UPDATE: This giveaway is now closed, our winners are Laurel and Gretchen. Congrats!
Online Drama - how to talk to your students about digital citizenship. Stop cyber bullying before it happens.
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Renata Varnadore
2/13/2017 08:00:01 am

We are struggling with the cyber comments! The APP's that kids are using are the worst! We train at the beginning of the year, run programs throughout the year and finish the year with the Monique Burr Foundation program on bullying and abuse. It would be great to have something new and fresh to share with our kids!

Keith Deltano link
2/13/2017 12:20:37 pm

Renata, there are three APPs that students should not be on. They are KiK, Yik Yak and Ask.fm. These three sites do not allow for parental monitoring and do not cooperate with law enforcement. On my site, www.DontBullyOnline.com, I have a blog post that goes into more detail on how schools can combat cyber bullying.

Laurel Klaassen
2/13/2017 09:36:19 am

Even though we address cyberbullying in classrooms, it seems like we are constantly putting out fires or trying to. Kids seem to not see the harsh consequences that can happen. Thank you for this blog post! Very helpful!

Keith Deltano link
2/13/2017 12:31:12 pm

I hear this often from schools I work with. The social media mess is "constant." Your job then becomes making the consequences real. You used the word "harsh" in your comment. That is part of the key. Their world is so aggressive in it's language and imagery. We often use softer language that they don't "get." You say, "There are consequences to cyber bullying." they don't hear you. But if you say, "If you get prosecuted under the state's HIB law you will not be able to get a scholarship or a job pushing the carts back at Wal Mart" they hear you.

Rebecca Atkins
2/21/2017 07:55:13 am

Laurel, You are a winner of the giveaway! Please contact me with your address at [email protected]. Congrats!

Mary Beth Jenkins
2/13/2017 11:48:20 am

We implement the Olweus bullying program at our school. Each class meets weekly to discuss various topics surrounding bullying. I have classes with the kids in grades 4-8 to discuss bullying and cyberbullying. I also hold a parent night each year to get the info out to parents. I like the 3 P's and referring to them with the students this way.

Keith Deltano link
2/13/2017 12:41:02 pm

I'm glad you host a parent night! Many schools are dropping the ball on this. We have to get to parents. Many parents are simply handing their children a smart phone. Thats it. No talk, no lecture, not contract, no guidance and no filter. When I conduct parent workshops around the nation, I ask my audience, "How many parents have a student with a smart phone." Every hand goes up. I then say, "Keep your hands up if you have downloaded a filtering or monitoring application on you child's phone." 90% of the hands go down. Maddening. My work has shown me that parents are concerned greatly about social media....and doing nothing about it. So much tragedy and anguish that is occurring with our young people could be avoided if parents simply used technology to monitor technology. Encourage the parents you work with to download filtering technology on their children's devices.

JR King link
2/13/2017 05:40:16 pm

Cyber safety and cyber bullying is handled in computer class at our Middle School, but the social and emotional effects take another set of curriculum, and we emphasize the THINK mantra.

Keith Deltano link
2/14/2017 06:43:11 am

Glad you are taking this on in multiple fronts.

Kelly Pitalo
2/14/2017 05:41:18 pm

Honestly, my school does not address bullying or cyberbullying very well. One of our goals for next year is to develop a anti bullying program. This looks like a great start!

Keith Deltano link
2/15/2017 07:23:48 am

Kelly, as you know, it is better to be proactive rather than reactive. I would love to work with you and your school next year. Please feel free to use any of my You Tube videos school wide if you feel they would help your campaign. Perhaps you will win the 3 DVD curriculum we are giving away. That will get you started. Good luck.

Gretchen
2/17/2017 01:20:34 pm

Such an important topic, and I love the 3 Ps. I use the 4 Rs of cyberbullying in classroom lessons - recognize, refuse, record, & report. Our district also implemented Olweus years ago, but our resource officer comes in for lessons with 4th grade re: cyberbullying, and I partner with the library media specialist to do lessons during special area time as well in addition to their general ed classroom for whole group counseling lessons.

Rebecca Atkins
2/21/2017 07:55:38 am

You are a winner of the giveaway! Please contact me with your address at [email protected]. Congrats!

Jessica Roney
2/17/2017 02:41:51 pm

So far we have ran classroom lessons on the topic of cyberbullying, a classroom lesson on healthy relationships in a digital world, and will be hosting a parent/family night in a few weeks to address how to be a proactive digital citizen. Great resources in this article to assist with planning for my parent night! Thank you!

Keith Deltano link
2/18/2017 06:32:24 am

Jessica, sounds like you are being very proactive. On the parent workshop, make sure you encourage parents to download internet filters. Many student are viewing and getting addicted to porn. Often because of "accidental viewing." They aren't looking for it, they type in to the search engine something like "Dallas Cowboy Score" and because of the words "Dallas" and "Score" google kicks up a porn site. Usually deep in the search results. Filters can help block inappropriate sites as well as monitor social media. I recommend one called "net nanny" you can find more on this at my blog post on my site, www.DontBullyOnline.com or at https://www.dontbullyonline.com/blog/17-use-technology-to-fight-technology If the link does not work, the title of the post is, "Use Technology to Fight Technology" Please feel free to use it as a handout at your parent workshop.


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    Rebecca Atkins

    Welcome to my blog where I talk about all things school counselor and encourage others to Counselor Up!

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