I am thrilled to host Keith Deltano from Don't Bully Online for a guest post on cyber bullying today. A serious comedian, Keith is a winner of the teaching excellence award for his work with at risk students and the national impact award for his parent outreach and education efforts. He is the creator of the anti bullying curriculum, “The Complete Anti Bullying Kit.” Keith has served and worked with youth as a public school teacher, private counselor, strength coach, and US Army Airborne Military Police Officer. We are also hosting a GIVEAWAY, details at the end of the post.
The calls have come in, accusations made, screenshots presented, and now you have students in your counseling office that do not fully understand the potential consequences of social media abuse and cyber bullying. What do you say them?
Misuse of You Tube, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Tumblr, and Flickr by teens has resulted in long term suspension, expulsion, suicide, and criminal charges…and that’s the short list. As a school counselor, one of your jobs is to help your students make good decisions regarding social media. This abuse is not limited to teens. As a nationally touring anti bullying speaker, I have met elementary school principals that have had to suspend students for making racist, hateful, and threatening comments on social media sites.
Misuse of You Tube, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Tumblr, and Flickr by teens has resulted in long term suspension, expulsion, suicide, and criminal charges…and that’s the short list. As a school counselor, one of your jobs is to help your students make good decisions regarding social media. This abuse is not limited to teens. As a nationally touring anti bullying speaker, I have met elementary school principals that have had to suspend students for making racist, hateful, and threatening comments on social media sites.
It's the Law
All 50 states have passed HIB (Harassment Intimidation and Bullying) laws and school systems are struggling to comply. The aggressiveness of these laws varies from state to state. In many states, school administrators are required to contact law enforcement when racist, threatening, or pornographic imagery is included in a student’s post. I’ve met students that have lost full boat scholarships because something they posted on Instagram resulted in criminal charges. Once again, this is not limited to middle and high school students. I’ve met parents at my workshops that have elementary school students involved with criminal HIB investigations.
Students and parents have all heard of cyber bullying, the suicides that have occurred because of it, and the dangers of social media abuse. What I have learned in my travels is that very few students and parents have made a concrete connection between all the media coverage of cyber bullying and their own personal behavior. Students may have a vague idea that cyber bullying is wrong, few understand they may pay a heavy price for engaging in it. In other words, they may expect a lecture and even suspension, but few seem to understand expulsion and a criminal record can be around the bend. We in education have spent a great deal of time speaking with each other about social media, not so much with students. This has to change.
Permanent, Prosecutable, and Painful
I focus on defining and retaining three words students can relate to social media and cyber bullying: permanent, prosecutable, and painful. These three concepts can be applied in a one on one conversation in your office or a school wide activity. To maintain consistency, include the words in every assembly, discussion, poster contest, presentation, parent conference, PTA meeting, anti bullying pledge, student handbook, or school website article you create that addresses cyber bullying and social media. Either way, we want to make sure students understand social media abuse is permanent, prosecutable, and painful.
As I’m sure you are aware, students will not retain all of what you say to them, they are, however, able to retain key concepts when they are consistently connected to memorable keywords or phrases. Think: “stop, drop, and roll.” Let’s take a look at permanent, prosecutable, and painful to see how you could include them in your anti cyber bullying efforts. Your presentation and materials could include these points:
As I’m sure you are aware, students will not retain all of what you say to them, they are, however, able to retain key concepts when they are consistently connected to memorable keywords or phrases. Think: “stop, drop, and roll.” Let’s take a look at permanent, prosecutable, and painful to see how you could include them in your anti cyber bullying efforts. Your presentation and materials could include these points:
Permanent
What you send out there is permanent, you cannot get it back, and it will be out there forever. For example, if you post an inappropriate image of yourself out there on Instagram, you will have to deal with the image’s existence for the rest of your life. If you make an inappropriate comment and post it on social media, you will have to deal with the consequences for a long time. You cannot control the life of a post, tweet, image, text, or email. Businesses and colleges conduct background checks on applicants. They will check out who you are online. You may not be able to get into college because of something you posted to social media years earlier.
Prosecutable
Inappropriate social media behavior is prosecutable by law enforcement agencies. Not only can you be suspended from school, you can be charged with a crime. If prosecuted for cyber bullying, you will be charged with a misdemeanor that will be on your juvenile record until you are eighteen. As mentioned before, employers and colleges conduct background checks on their applicants. You may be unable to get a job because of something you posted on Snapchat. You may be unable to get a college scholarship because you tweeted a racial or threatening comment. If you are prosecuted for online harassment or cyber bullying, the record of that prosecution will stay with you and limit your options until you are eighteen. If what you do with social media is serious enough to result in a felony charge, it may stay on your record for the rest of your life. Your future could be radically changed by one text, tweet, or post.
Painful
You can cause a lot of pain with one hateful post. Do you want to be responsible for hurting another person? Do you want to be responsible for another human being harming themselves in any way as a result of something you posted? You have no way of knowing the emotional state of the person you are victimizing. Your social media actions may have consequences that cannot be reversed. The anger you feel when you post something hateful may not last, the harm you cause may be permanent.
Sending the Message
As a school counselor, you already have lessons and activities that address cyber bullying and social media safety. Simply work permanent, prosecutable, and painful into them. Most of the materials I’ve reviewed on cyber bullying are “light” and they simply do not bring home the severity of the consequences or the damage that can be done when social media is abused. Use these three words to make your anti cyber bullying efforts more impactful, especially with older students. Work to get the whole staff on board with this language.
You can reduce cyber bullying and online drama at your school. It will take a very focused and targeted effort using specific language. If the students hear it enough, in the same language, with the same consequences, by all their leadership, the message will get through.
You can reduce cyber bullying and online drama at your school. It will take a very focused and targeted effort using specific language. If the students hear it enough, in the same language, with the same consequences, by all their leadership, the message will get through.
Thanks so much for posting with us Keith! I think the message you drive home is really powerful. We can't just tell students that cyberbullying is inappropriate, we have to help them to learn the consequences for themselves and others. Keith has generously offered to give away TWO Anti-Bullying Resource Kits away. To enter, comment below with how your school addresses cyberbullying. Winners will be announced here on Monday, February 20th.
UPDATE: This giveaway is now closed, our winners are Laurel and Gretchen. Congrats!
UPDATE: This giveaway is now closed, our winners are Laurel and Gretchen. Congrats!
